Friendship

I haven't blogged in a while, what with family life, college and a new job. I do miss doing it - yer i know i didn't do it nightly and i can't figure out how to add pictures in yet - but it was nice to get thoughts out of my head.

Lately things have been rather crappy. I worry about my mum daily. I've wrote a few short pieces about her on here, but i think i'm going to write a main one pretty soon. About the day she tried to take the overdose. Not for attention, but i have it going round and round in my head, and well because its in tv programes all the time - a popular topic for soaps to lure in viewers - but if people really knew what it was like...well.. To the viewers it really is just fiction. But no. It does happen in real life. My dad may get made redundant in two months, and its horrible because he loves his job, he really does! And worse there's nothing he can really do to make sure he keeps it. Just plod on and keep doing well.

I was in a foul mood last week. With this in my head, and the worry i may have run a red light at the weekend, therefore loosing my licence. The day before me and Rosa had planned a spure of the moment bike ride to litcham, like we usually do several times a year.

I don't think she knows how much that day meant to me. I was stressed when she came over, and we took the dog for a walk before setting off. I had a bit of a moan and she tried to calm me down, but it didn't really work.

Biking for ten miles, a beautiful day, just me and my best friend, now that worked. I forgot completley. For just that day, where me and her laughed and talked like we hadn't for a long time, i felt just like every other teenager. I felt normal, like i didn't have to hide any secrects, that in one word, i had my 'freedom' back.

A few days later, the roles were reversed. She called up and was really down. I knew exactly what would work to cheer her up. There are these woods about...five miles away from me. Stunnily beautiful ones. Small patches of trees with curling earth and leaf paths. Her eyes lighted up. Rosa adores taking photos - and is darn good at doing it - and captured us laughing in the tree. Not posed, just laughing over some thing stupid, a proper photo.

When she goes to uni i will hate it. It takes me a while to open up to people, and for three years, or more, things will be different. There won't be any sontanious bike rides or sleep overs. I can't simply drive home from her's at two in the morning when i realize i have to go.

Will we have to grow up?

I hope to god that the answer is no. Having a friend like Rosa is like having complete freedom.